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>> Jon: [ Distorted ] MY NAME'S

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JON.

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I'M IN THE WITNESS PROTECTION

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PROGRAM.

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THE RUSSIAN MOB WANTS ME DEAD,

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THE LOVE OF MY LIFE WAS

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MURDERED, BUT, HEY, THIS COOL,

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SINGLE DAD'S STILL GOT TO LIVE

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LIFE.

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OWW!

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PREVIOUSLY ON "DELOCATED!"...

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>> Mike: YEAH, HE -- HE'S HERE

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RIGHT NOW.

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IT'S SETH.

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HE'S BEEN MURDERED.

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RAY'S JUST BEEN MURDERED.

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>> LON'S DEAD.

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OH, MY GOD.

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JON, COME ON. WE GOT TO TALK.

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>> YEAH.

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IT TURNS OUT SHE'S NOT YOUR

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GRANDDAUGHTER.

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>> David: UH-OH.

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IT'S A NEW VIDEO ALERT FROM

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FAKE JON.

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>> Jon: WHAT IS THIS ONE?

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"SANDWICH HUMPER."

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>> SHOOT HIM IN THE HEAD.

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>> I AM JON.

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>> GO AHEAD.

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[ GUNSHOT ]

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>> Jon: IF THEY LOST MY JEANS,

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I'M GONNA BE SO MAD -- SO MAD.

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>> WAIT TILL YOU FIND OUT FOR

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SURE.

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>> Jon: WELL, IT'S TAKING A VERY

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LONG TIME.

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IT'S MY FAVORITE PAIR OF JEANS.

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[ SIGHS DEEPLY ]

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>> [ Asian accent ] OH!

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>> Jon: HERE WE GO.

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>> ME SORRY IT TAKE RONG TIME.

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I TRY FIND TICKEH.

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>> Jon: WHAT? TICKEH?

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>> TICKEH.

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>> Jon: OH -- NO, NO, NO, NO.

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TICKET.

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>> TICKEH.

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>> Jon: NO -- TICK-ET.

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PUT A "T" ON THE END.

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>> TICK-EN.

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>> Jon: TICKET.

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>> TICK-ED?

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>> Jon: YOU HEAR AT THE TOP?

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"TUH."

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TUH, TUH, TUH, TUH --

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"TI"...

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>> TI...

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>> Jon: ..."CKET."

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>> TUH-CKET-TUH.

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>> Jon: NO, NEVER MIND.

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JUST HOW MUCH DO I OWE YOU,

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PLEASE?

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WHOA. HOLD ON A SECOND.

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>> WHAT?

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>> Jon: HOLD ON A SECOND,

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PLEASE.

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OH, MY GOD.

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OH, MY GOD!

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WHY ARE MY JEANS CREASED?!

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>> OH, JEAN NEED CREASE.

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LOOK SHARP.

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>> Jon: NO, YOU [SIGHS]

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YOU DON'T CREASE JEANS.

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YOU CREASE SLACKS.

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>> JEAN NEED CREASE.

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20 DOLLAR.

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>> Jon: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR

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MIND?!

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20 BUCKS?!

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THESE TOOK A LONG TIME TO BREAK

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IN.

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NOW THEY'RE RUINED.

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YOU JUST LOST A CUSTOMER.

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>> OH, NO, NO.

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HOLD ON. HOLD ON.

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UH...

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I-I NO SUPPOSED TO DO THIS,

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BUT...

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OH.

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PREASE, TAKE THIS.

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I GIVE YOU COUPON, MAKE YOU

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HAPPY CUSTOMER.

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>> Jon: I CAN TAKE THIS TO ANY

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CHINESE RESTAURANT IN THE CITY,

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AND THEY'LL ACCEPT IT?

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>> OH, ANYPLACE.

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CHINESE PEOPLE MAKE SPECIAL

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CODE.

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THAT HOW CHINESE PEOPLE DO

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THINGS.

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>> Jon: SPECIAL CODE?

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YOU CHINESE PEOPLE STICK

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TOGETHER.

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I LIKE THAT.

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I ALSO LIKE GOOD BUSINESS.

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YOU GOT A CUSTOMER BACK.

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I'M JON.

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>> MY NAME EUN MI.

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>> Jon: IT'S VERY PRETTY.

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IT'S DELICATE.

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IT'S LIKE A TENDER PIECE OF

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PINEAPPLE FRIED RICE.

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WITHOUT THE PINEAPPLE, THOUGH.

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I DON'T -- I NEVER UNDERSTOOD

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THAT DISH.

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LIKE, WHY RUIN FRIED RICE WITH

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WARM FRUIT?

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UGH. GROSS.

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[ CHUCKLES ]

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THANKS FOR THE COUPON.

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I'M EXCITED TO USE IT.

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AND, UH, YOUR SECRET'S SAFE WITH

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ME.

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>> THANK YOU.

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>> Jon: BYE!

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>> THANK YOU.

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>> DON'T CONTROL IT, JON! NO!

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ENERGIZE IT.

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YEAH.

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>> Jon: THIS HOOP THERAPY'S BEEN

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REALLY WORKING.

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GOT TO TELL YOU, OLD JON WOULD

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HAVE LOST HIS [BLEEP] ABOUT

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THOSE CREASED JEANS, BUT NEW JON

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STAYED COOL AS A CUKE.

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>> MM-HMM.

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>> Jon: THAT LADY'S PRETTY CUTE,

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TOO.

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>> ASIAN PEOPLE REPRESENT SAFETY

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TO YOU RIGHT NOW, JON.

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THE WANG CHOS OFFER YOU

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PROTECTION, AND SUDDENLY, YOUR

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DRY-CLEANER IS DESIRABLE.

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MAYBE YOU SHOULD ASK HER OUT.

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HMM?

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SEE WHERE IT LEADS.

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>> Jon: I DON'T KNOW.

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SHE BARELY SPEAKS ENGLISH.

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>> THAT MAY BE JUST WHAT YOU

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NEED -- SOMEONE WHO CAN'T

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ARTICULATE ANY DEMANDS ON YOU.

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BUT YOU WON'T KNOW, JON, UNLESS

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YOU TRY.

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>> Jon: IT'LL BE MY FIRST

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CHINESE DATE.

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>> REMEMBER -- IT'S ABOUT

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ENERGY, NOT CONTROL.

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>> OH, GEEZ.

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>> A CRITIC JUDGES WHAT HE

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HIMSELF CANNOT ACHIEVE, T.B.

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WHAT ARE YOU SO SCARED OF?

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HMM?

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WHY DON'T YOU TRY IT?

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>> BECAUSE I HAVE THE GOOD SENSE

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NOT TO FALL FOR SOME CON-ARTIST

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BULL[BLEEP]

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I'M NOT A SUCKER.

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NO OFFENSE, JON.

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>> Jon: HEY, NONE TAKEN.

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I'M HAVING FUN.

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>> WHAT'S NEXT FOR JON --

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PLAYING IN A SANDBOX?

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[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]

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>> Jon: HEY, THAT SOUNDS COOL.

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WHEN WE DOING THAT?

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>> HELLO?

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OH, MY GOD.

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>> Jon: OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?

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T.B., YOU GOT TO STOP TAKING

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THESE PHONE CALLS, MAN.

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IT'S ALWAYS, "HELLO?

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OH, MY GOD."

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THEN IT'S BAD NEWS.

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SEE? LOOK AT HIS FACE. BAD NEWS.

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LET ME GUESS -- SERGEI SHOT

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DAVID, CUT OFF HIS DICK, I'M

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NEXT.

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RIGHT? SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

190
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>> IT'S MY MOM.

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SHE'S GETTING A DIVORCE.

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SHE'S LEAVING MY DAD.

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[ SAD MUSIC PLAYS ]

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>> Jon: SO, MY DICK'S NOT NEXT?

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>> JON!

196
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GET IN.

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>> Jon: [ SIGHS ]

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[ SIGHS DEEPLY ]

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* CHA CHA

200
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* CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA

201
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* CHA CHA CHA

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* CHA CHA

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* CHA CHA CHOS

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* CHA CHA CHOS

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* CHA CHA --

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>> KINDLY EXAMINE THESE.

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>> Jon: THIS IS THE ASSHOLE

208
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THAT'S PRETENDING TO BE ME.

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THIS GUY'S BEEN MAKING ME LOOK

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LIKE A REAL DICK.

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HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT HE DOES WITH

212
00:05:26,594 --> 00:05:27,134
A SANDWICH?

213
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>> I AM MORE CONCERNED WITH WHAT

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HE DID TO BOHAI.

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>> I AM JON.

216
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[ GUNSHOT ECHOES ]

217
00:05:37,705 --> 00:05:40,035
>> Jon: THIS ISN'T ME!

218
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,070
YOU GOT TO BELIEVE ME.

219
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WHY WOULD I KILL ONE OF MY CHO

220
00:05:42,410 --> 00:05:43,710
BROS?

221
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>> I, TOO, THINK THIS.

222
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OR YOU WOULD BE NUMBER 4 LUNCH

223
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SPECIAL -- MOO GOO GAI DEAD JON.

224
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BUT THERE IS PROBLEM.

225
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REST OF WANG CHOS THINK YOU DID

226
00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:57,115
THIS -- WANT YOU DEAD.

227
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>> Jon: WELL, IF YOU BELIEVE ME,

228
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JUST TELL THEM ABOUT FAKE JON.

229
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:02,925
>> I'M SORRY.

230
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BUT UNLESS YOU CAN PROVE IT'S

231
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:07,398
NOT YOU...

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YOU DIE.

233
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>> * LOVE TO SWEEP

234
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* I LOVE TO SWEEP UP

235
00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:18,607
* SWEEPING IS FUN

236
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>> Jon: I TOLD YOU GUYS -- SAME

237
00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:20,513
GUY!

238
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LOOK AT THE COAT, RIGHT?

239
00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:24,353
>> IT'S A VERY SPECIFIC

240
00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:26,651
JACKET/JEAN/SHOE COMBINATION.

241
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>> Jon: YEAH, RIGHT?

242
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>> I'LL GET THAT.

243
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>> YOU'VE CONVINCED ME, JON.

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>> Jon: BELIEVE THAT ASSHOLE?

245
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>> SEE YOU LATER.

246
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>> Jon: HATE THAT GUY!

247
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I LIKE HIS SHOES, THOUGH.

248
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THOSE ARE PRETTY COOL.

249
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>> LET ME GET CUP INTO GARBAGE.

250
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>> Jon: THOSE ARE THE SHOES THAT

251
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TONE YOUR BUTT, RIGHT?

252
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HEY, THEY SHOULD MAKE A PAIR

253
00:06:44,672 --> 00:06:45,672
THAT TONE YOUR WIENER.

254
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[ LAUGHS ]

255
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HERE WE GO, BUDDY.

256
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>> WELCOME TO NEW YORK, MOTHER.

257
00:06:54,482 --> 00:06:55,622
NOW LET'S GO UPSTAIRS TO DISCUSS

258
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:57,276
THIS LATEST DEVELOPMENT.

259
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>> Jon: SOMEONE CALL PAUL SIMON,

260
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HUH?

261
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GOT A LITTLE MOTHER/CHILD

262
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REUNION HAPPENING HERE.

263
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>> SWEETIE, I'M SORRY THIS IS

264
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HARD.

265
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BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU I HAVE

266
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GIVEN THIS A LOT OF THOUGHT.

267
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>> WELL, HOW DOES DAD FEEL ABOUT

268
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ALL THIS?

269
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>> WELL, YOU HAVE TO ASK HIM,

270
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:18,507
BUT I CAN TELL YOU IT WAS A

271
00:07:18,506 --> 00:07:19,406
MUTUAL DECISION.

272
00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:20,836
>> WELL, I DID CALL HIM, AND

273
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:21,581
HE'S A MESS.

274
00:07:21,575 --> 00:07:23,005
>> WELL, WHAT DID YOU ASK ME

275
00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:23,410
FOR?!

276
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:24,880
DID YOU INVITE ME HERE FOR AN

277
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:25,708
INTERROGATION?

278
00:07:25,713 --> 00:07:27,583
THIS IS NOT ABU GHRAIB, TONY.

279
00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:29,481
I DON'T HAVE BALLS FOR YOU TO

280
00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:30,883
ELECTROCUTE.

281
00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:32,394
>> Jon: [ CHUCKLES ]

282
00:07:32,385 --> 00:07:33,545
NICE ONE, RENEE.

283
00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:35,064
DON'T TAKE THAT.

284
00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:37,415
>> RENEE, CONGRATULATIONS ON

285
00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:40,064
CONFRONTING YOUR UNHAPPINESS SO

286
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:40,990
BRAVELY.

287
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:43,664
I HOPE YOUR HEALING HAS BEGUN.

288
00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:44,574
>> THANK YOU.

289
00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:46,165
>> NOT ALL DIVORCES CARRY

290
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,696
NEGATIVE IMPLICATIONS.

291
00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:50,602
I CAN SENSE YOU HAVE A POSITIVE

292
00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:52,374
AURA, AND I THINK YOU MADE A

293
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:53,672
HEALTHY DECISION.

294
00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:55,714
YOU'RE SENDING OFF SOME REALLY

295
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:57,009
PEACEFUL VIBRATIONS.

296
00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,710
>> I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS GIVING

297
00:07:58,712 --> 00:07:59,752
OFF VIBRATIONS.

298
00:07:59,747 --> 00:08:01,377
I'M GLAD SOMEBODY'S GETTING

299
00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:02,721
THEM.

300
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:04,446
I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO GRAB A

301
00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:05,691
NAP.

302
00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:06,886
TONY, TRY NOT TO WORRY.

303
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:08,457
>> Jon: YEAH, WE SHOULD, UH, GET

304
00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:09,285
GOING, ANYWAY.

305
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:10,589
I WANT TO HEAD BACK HOME,

306
00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:12,061
PREPARE FOR MY DATE WITH THAT

307
00:08:12,059 --> 00:08:14,959
SILKY CHINESE MAIDEN.

308
00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:16,602
I'M THINKING ABOUT WEARING THREE

309
00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:18,067
COLOGNES TONIGHT -- COVER MY

310
00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:18,565
BASES.

311
00:08:18,566 --> 00:08:20,026
SHE GOT TO LIKE ONE OF THEM.

312
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,303
[ CHUCKLES ]

313
00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:23,671
[ ASIAN MUSIC PLAYS ]

314
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,540
MMM.

315
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:30,642
WHAM, BAM, THANK YOU, CHINA.

316
00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:32,614
[ CHUCKLES ]

317
00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:33,983
HEY, THANKS FOR COMING OUT

318
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:34,581
TONIGHT.

319
00:08:34,582 --> 00:08:36,052
KIND OF THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE

320
00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:37,279
INTO SOME CHINESE FOOD.

321
00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:39,894
>> OH, YOU'RE WELCOME.

322
00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:42,717
MMM. I LIKE YOUR COLOGNE.

323
00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:43,893
>> Jon: WHICH ONE?

324
00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:45,891
[ LAUGHS ]

325
00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:47,393
HEY, YOU GOT ROOM FOR DESSERT?

326
00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:49,264
>> OH, NO, THANK YOU.

327
00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:50,662
MY TUMMY FULL.

328
00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:52,274
>> Jon: YOU SURE?

329
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:53,995
'CAUSE, UH...

330
00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:57,071
MONEY IS NO OBJECT.

331
00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:57,840
BOOM.

332
00:08:57,838 --> 00:09:00,138
>> OH, YOU BRING COUPON.

333
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:03,010
THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

334
00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:05,510
>> Jon: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

335
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:06,852
OH. HERE YOU GO, MY MAN.

336
00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:08,417
I BELIEVE THIS ONE IS ON THE

337
00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:10,075
HOUSE TONIGHT.

338
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,953
>> WHAT THIS?

339
00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:13,092
>> Jon: COME ON, DUDE.

340
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:14,186
DON'T MAKE ME LOOK BAD.

341
00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:15,487
IT'S ONE OF YOUR AUTHENTIC

342
00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:17,788
CHINESE DINNER COUPONS -- GIVEN

343
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:20,461
TO ME BY THIS VERY LOVELY AND

344
00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:23,330
VERY AUTHENTIC CHINESE LADY.

345
00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:24,970
>> UH, THIS...JOKE?

346
00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:26,125
[ CHUCKLES ]

347
00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:26,603
YOU PAY.

348
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:27,970
>> Jon: EUN MI, YOU WANT TO TELL

349
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:29,038
THIS GUY WHAT'S GOING ON?

350
00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:30,996
HE OBVIOUSLY DOES NOT READ

351
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:32,474
ENGLISH.

352
00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:34,442
>> [ SPEAKING KOREAN ]

353
00:09:37,845 --> 00:09:39,145
>> [ SPEAKING CHINESE ]

354
00:09:39,146 --> 00:09:41,846
>> [ SPEAKING KOREAN ]

355
00:09:41,849 --> 00:09:43,719
>> Jon: SO, WE ALL SET?

356
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:45,687
>> WHY SHE SPEAK KOREAN?

357
00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:47,016
YOU PAY, OR I CALL THE POLICE.

358
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,190
>> Jon: SHE'S NOT SPEAKING

359
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:48,658
KOREAN.

360
00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:49,786
IT'S CHINESE.

361
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,390
HOW ABOUT AN APOLOGY?

362
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:53,361
>> [ LAUGHING ]

363
00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:56,732
>> Jon: WHAT IS SO FUNNY?

364
00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:58,800
[ LAUGHS ]

365
00:09:58,799 --> 00:09:59,999
[ American accent ] DUDE.

366
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,870
YOU'RE A [BLEEP] IDIOT.

367
00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:11,043
>> Jon: HONESTLY, I CAN'T

368
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:12,314
BELIEVE YOU'RE NOT CHINESE.

369
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:13,482
>> OH, BELIEVE IT, DUDE.

370
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:14,250
I'M KOREAN.

371
00:10:14,247 --> 00:10:16,047
>> Jon: I'VE BEEN COMING TO THE

372
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:18,319
DRY-CLEANER FOR WEEKS.

373
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:19,418
WHY WOULD YOU PRETEND THAT YOU

374
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:20,389
CAN BARELY SPEAK ENGLISH?

375
00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:21,047
>> I DON'T KNOW.

376
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:22,224
IT WAS JUST FUN [BLEEP] WITH

377
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:22,862
YOU.

378
00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,386
"TICKEH. TICKEH."

379
00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:27,361
[ Laughing ] OH, MY GOD. UNREAL.

380
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,060
>> Jon: "UNREAL" LIKE -- LIKE,

381
00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:30,002
GOOD "UNREAL"?

382
00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:31,557
>> OH, THIS IS THE BEST TIME

383
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:33,004
I'VE EVER HAD ON A DATE.

384
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,370
>> Jon: REALLY?

385
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,097
SO...

386
00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:37,443
MAYBE YOU'D GO OUT WITH ME

387
00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:37,937
AGAIN.

388
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,438
>> YOU KNOW, NORMALLY, NO WAY,

389
00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:40,909
BUT IF YOU THINK YOU CAN TOP

390
00:10:40,908 --> 00:10:43,508
TONIGHT, THEN YEAH.

391
00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:46,580
OTHERWISE, DON'T BOTHER.

392
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:47,919
BY THE WAY, AREN'T THOSE THE

393
00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:49,245
JEANS YOU LOST YOUR [BLEEP]

394
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:50,349
ABOUT?

395
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:50,920
>> Jon: OH.

396
00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:52,288
YEAH, YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT ABOUT

397
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:53,685
IT A LITTLE MORE, AND I KIND OF

398
00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:55,057
STARTED TO LIKE THEM AND THOUGHT

399
00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:56,285
I'D WEAR THEM TONIGHT ON THE

400
00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:58,059
DATE JUST TO GIVE CREDIT WHERE

401
00:10:58,058 --> 00:10:59,858
CREDIT'S DUE ABOUT A -- ABOUT A

402
00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,230
GREAT CREASE.

403
00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:01,858
YOU KNOW --

404
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:03,132
[ Asian accent ] LOOK SHARP.

405
00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:04,400
>> NO, YOU HAD IT RIGHT THE

406
00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:05,027
FIRST TIME.

407
00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:07,432
CREASED JEANS LOOK STUPID.

408
00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:16,775
>> OH! GOOD NIGHT, TODD.

409
00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:18,747
GOOD NIGHT, WHORE.

410
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:25,091
>> [ SPEAKING CHINESE ]

411
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:26,888
[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]

412
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,890
>> HAVE FUN TONIGHT.

413
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,585
>> TONY, I'M SORRY WE GOT OFF TO

414
00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:36,734
SUCH A ROUGH START, BUT I HAVE

415
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:37,660
HAD A WONDERFUL TIME.

416
00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:38,934
>> WELL, I'M GLAD YOU HAD FUN,

417
00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:39,272
MOM.

418
00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:40,566
BUT WE BETTER HURRY, OR YOU'RE

419
00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:41,567
GONNA MISS YOUR FLIGHT.

420
00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:42,898
>> OH, I'M GONNA STAY A FEW MORE

421
00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:43,273
DAYS.

422
00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:44,970
I WANT TO SEE SOME MUSEUMS

423
00:11:44,972 --> 00:11:46,772
AND -- AND GO TO A BROADWAY

424
00:11:46,774 --> 00:11:47,844
SHOW.

425
00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:48,341
>> OKAY.

426
00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:49,781
I GUESS I COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF

427
00:11:49,777 --> 00:11:50,307
DAYS OFF.

428
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:51,480
>> OH, THAT'S OKAY, HONEY.

429
00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:52,778
I ALREADY HAVE SOMEBODY WHO'S

430
00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:53,750
GONNA SHOW ME AROUND.

431
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:54,607
[ TOILET FLUSHES ]

432
00:11:54,614 --> 00:11:57,154
>> DARLING.

433
00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:59,920
OH. HI, JON. TONY.

434
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,450
DARLING, I HAVE JUST HAD A VERY

435
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:02,294
STEAMY SHOWER.

436
00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:03,619
I'M GONNA GO AND TOWEL OFF

437
00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:05,463
BEFORE WE GET GOING.

438
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:06,528
MMM.

439
00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:07,456
[ SMOOCHING ]

440
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:11,930
MMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

441
00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:13,272
SEE YOU LATER, GUYS.

442
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:14,836
>> Jon: PROBABLY NOT WHAT

443
00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:16,995
PAUL SIMON HAD IN MIND WITH

444
00:12:17,004 --> 00:12:18,774
"MOTHER/CHILD REUNION."

445
00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:21,642
[ Chuckling ] OH, MY GOD.

446
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:25,477
>> HE NEEDS TO BE FIRED.

447
00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:26,808
>> Jon: YOU KNOW WHAT, T.B.?

448
00:12:26,814 --> 00:12:28,184
IN THE GLAZE'S DEFENSE, YOUR

449
00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:29,521
MOTHER IS AN ADULT.

450
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:31,376
SHE CAN PULL A BANG 'N' BONE

451
00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:33,354
WITH WHOEVER SHE WANTS.

452
00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:34,093
RIGHT, SUSAN?

453
00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:35,491
>> I HAD A FEELING THIS MIGHT

454
00:12:35,522 --> 00:12:37,222
HAPPEN.

455
00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:38,464
>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU HAD A

456
00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:40,858
FEELING?

457
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:43,831
>> LET'S JUST SAY THE GLAZE IS

458
00:12:43,831 --> 00:12:46,971
WELL-SCHOOLED IN THE ART OF SEX.

459
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:47,967
>> Jon: OH, BOY.

460
00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:49,538
>> WE DID A PRESENTATION WITH

461
00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:51,166
THE GLAZE A FEW YEARS AGO, AND

462
00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:53,071
ONE ASPECT OF THE SHOW WAS HIS

463
00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:57,343
WORK AS A COUPLES SEX THERAPIST.

464
00:12:57,344 --> 00:12:58,884
I FELT I NEEDED TO KNOW WHAT HIS

465
00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:01,709
QUALIFICATIONS WERE, SO I, UM...

466
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:02,724
>> OH, MY GOD.

467
00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:03,675
>> Jon: HO-HO!

468
00:13:03,683 --> 00:13:05,353
THE PLOT THICKENS.

469
00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:06,692
>> IT'S NOT SO MUCH WHAT HE

470
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:08,086
BROUGHT TO THE TABLE, 'CAUSE,

471
00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:09,388
YOU KNOW, IT WASN'T MUCH.

472
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:10,689
IT'S WHAT HE DID WITH IT.

473
00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:12,490
IT WAS HIS STROKE.

474
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:15,062
HE PACKED MORE INTO ONE PUMP

475
00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:16,402
THAN A LIFETIME OF LOVERS EVER

476
00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:16,826
COULD.

477
00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:18,100
>> I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS.

478
00:13:18,098 --> 00:13:18,828
>> Jon: I DO.

479
00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:20,332
>> I KNOW THIS IS DIFFICULT, BUT

480
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:21,603
YOU NEED TO KNOW WHO YOU'RE

481
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:22,371
DEALING WITH.

482
00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:23,499
>> WELL, I THINK HE'S A

483
00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:24,773
MANIPULATIVE OPPORTUNIST --

484
00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:25,941
WHO DROPPED SOME NEW-AGE

485
00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:27,239
BULL[BLEEP] ON A VULNERABLE

486
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,610
WOMAN AND THEN WENT BALLS DEEP.

487
00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:31,409
>> BALLS FIRST.

488
00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:33,411
HE GOES BALLS FIRST.

489
00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:36,183
[ NEW AGE MUSIC PLAYS ]

490
00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:37,353
>> CAN YOU FEEL ME?

491
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:37,950
>> YES.

492
00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:39,391
>> OHH, THAT FEELS GOOD.

493
00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:40,916
[ GROANS ]

494
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:41,551
FEEL IT!

495
00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:42,124
>> YES!

496
00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:43,522
>> [ MOANS ] FEEL IT FLOW.

497
00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:44,263
>> YES. YES.

498
00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:44,857
>> [ MOANS ]

499
00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:46,088
>> Jon: T.B., JUST GO EASY, MAN.

500
00:13:46,093 --> 00:13:46,763
>> TONY!

501
00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:48,359
>> THE JIG IS UP, FRIEND.

502
00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:50,231
THIS THING WITH YOU AND MY MOM

503
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:50,930
ENDS NOW.

504
00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:51,931
>> TONY, STOP!

505
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:53,702
>> MA, HE'S JUST GONNA LEAVE

506
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:54,970
YOU.

507
00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:56,238
>> TONY, YOU'RE WRONG.

508
00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:57,736
WE HAVE A STRONG CONNECTION.

509
00:13:57,737 --> 00:13:59,267
>> MA, THAT'S JUST THE STROKE

510
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:02,312
TALKING!

511
00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:04,039
>> SO WHAT IF IT IS?

512
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:06,314
IF YOU CAN'T BE HAPPY FOR ME,

513
00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:08,723
JUST, PLEASE, LEAVE ME ALONE SO

514
00:14:08,715 --> 00:14:10,415
I CAN ENJOY THE REST OF MY TRIP.

515
00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:11,987
AND IF YOU CAN'T BE HAPPY FOR

516
00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:13,485
ME AFTER THAT, THEN I GUESS

517
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:15,056
YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO LEAVE ME

518
00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:18,325
ALONE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

519
00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:19,925
>> T.B., I RESPECT THE FACT THAT

520
00:14:19,927 --> 00:14:21,287
YOU'RE LOOKING OUT FOR YOUR

521
00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:22,064
MOTHER.

522
00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:24,262
BUT I GENUINELY CARE FOR HER,

523
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:26,334
AND I HOPE YOU BELIEVE THAT.

524
00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:28,743
I PROMISE THAT I WILL NEVER HARM

525
00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:30,095
THIS LADY.

526
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:32,973
AND I PROMISE TO BE A GREAT

527
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,573
STEPDAD TO YOU.

528
00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:35,014
HMM?

529
00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:36,778
HEY -- I COULD TEACH YOU HOW TO

530
00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:37,636
DRIVE A STICK SHIFT!

531
00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:38,284
[ CHUCKLES ]

532
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:39,308
>> HOW ABOUT YOU DRIVE THIS

533
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:41,412
STICK?

534
00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:43,324
>> Jon: OH, THE MOTHER/CHILD

535
00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:44,846
REUNION HAS TAKEN A --

536
00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:46,891
>> SHUT UP, JON!

537
00:14:48,155 --> 00:14:49,455
>> Jon: MAN, TEACHING YOU TO

538
00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:51,016
DRIVE STICK.

539
00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:53,094
THE GLAZE IS A GREAT STEPDAD.

540
00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:54,793
>> HE'S NOT MY STEPDAD.

541
00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:56,034
>> Jon: NOT YET.

542
00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:58,169
FIRST COMES STROKE, THEN COMES

543
00:14:58,165 --> 00:14:59,425
MARRIAGE.

544
00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:01,302
[ LAUGHS ]

545
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:02,701
OH, HEY, BY THE WAY, DAVID'S

546
00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:04,202
SLEEPING AT A FRIEND'S TONIGHT,

547
00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:05,814
SO IT'S JUST YOU, ME, AND EUN MI

548
00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:06,705
AT THE APARTMENT.

549
00:15:06,706 --> 00:15:08,136
I GOT A REAL NICE CANDLELIT

550
00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:08,981
DINNER PLANNED.

551
00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:10,976
IT'S GONNA BE PRETTY SWEET.

552
00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:11,948
PRETTY S--

553
00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:13,505
OH, HERE SHE COMES.

554
00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:14,353
[ DOOR OPENS ]

555
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:15,777
HELLO, THERE. HOW ARE YOU?

556
00:15:15,782 --> 00:15:16,622
>> OH, MY GOD.

557
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:18,016
WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOUR

558
00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:18,688
PANTS?

559
00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:20,345
>> Jon: DOUBLE CREASE.

560
00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:22,563
I DREW THE CREASE-PIRATION FROM

561
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:23,815
YOU, MY LOVELY KIMONO.

562
00:15:23,823 --> 00:15:25,463
>> IF THIS IS HOW THE NIGHT IS

563
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:26,958
STARTING, IT IS A REALLY BAD

564
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:27,360
SIGN.

565
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,800
WHERE ARE WE GOING -- BACK TO

566
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:30,225
YOUR APARTMENT FOR A CANDLELIT

567
00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:32,400
DINNER OR SOMETHING LAME?

568
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:33,129
>> Jon: UH...

569
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:33,673
[ SCOFFS ]

570
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:34,566
NO, OF COURSE NOT.

571
00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:35,867
WHY WOULD I DO SOMETHING THAT

572
00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:36,338
STUPID?

573
00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:36,996
[ CHUCKLES ]

574
00:15:37,004 --> 00:15:38,374
>> OKAY, THEN. WHAT'S THE PLAN?

575
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:39,541
>> Jon: UH...YOU'LL SEE.

576
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:40,909
I GOT A COUPLE SURPRISES UP MY

577
00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:41,407
CREASE.

578
00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:42,338
>> OH, NO, NO, NO.

579
00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:43,712
I NEED TO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT

580
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:44,040
IS.

581
00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:45,414
IF IT'S SOMETHING LAME, TELL ME

582
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:47,152
SO I DON'T WASTE MY NIGHT.

583
00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:49,017
[ HORN HONKS ]

584
00:15:49,016 --> 00:15:51,246
>> JON!

585
00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:53,491
GET IN.

586
00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:54,846
>> GOOD START.

587
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:57,424
>> Jon: YEAH, RIGHT? I-I KNOW.

588
00:15:57,424 --> 00:15:58,594
HERE -- HERE WE GO.

589
00:15:58,591 --> 00:15:59,091
>> OH.

590
00:15:59,092 --> 00:15:59,892
>> Jon: OKAY.

591
00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:01,492
>> [ GIGGLES ]

592
00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:04,896
>> THIS IS AMAZING.

593
00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:06,567
>> Jon: OH. Y-YEAH. THANKS.

594
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:08,766
I, UH, I KNEW YOU'D BE PSYCHED

595
00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:10,438
ABOUT THIS.

596
00:16:10,437 --> 00:16:11,697
>> ARE WE EATING HERE?

597
00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:13,244
>> Jon: UH, YEAH, I THINK WE

598
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:14,340
ARE.

599
00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:15,241
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?

600
00:16:15,242 --> 00:16:16,542
NO, WE'RE NOT EATING HERE.

601
00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:17,543
>> OUR GUEST TONIGHT

602
00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:19,884
IMPERSONATED YOU AND TRIED TO

603
00:16:19,879 --> 00:16:22,419
GET YOU KILLED.

604
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:25,185
NOW IS YOUR CHANCE FOR PAYBACK.

605
00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:27,815
[ CHAIN JINGLES ]

606
00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:34,787
>> OH!

607
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:35,864
WHAT THE [BLEEP]

608
00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:37,832
>> HOLY [BLEEP] TODD BARRY!

609
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:41,596
>> [ SPEAKING CHINESE ]

610
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:42,641
>> THIS IS A MISTAKE, MAN.

611
00:16:42,635 --> 00:16:43,865
>> Jon: NO, IT'S NOT A MISTAKE.

612
00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:44,870
THIS IS -- THIS IS WHAT I

613
00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:45,271
PLANNED.

614
00:16:45,272 --> 00:16:47,242
>> SHUT UP!

615
00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:53,108
THIS WILL STILL SEND A MESSAGE

616
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:55,253
TO THE MIRMINSKYS.

617
00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:56,818
THE MURDER OF BOHAI WAS THE

618
00:16:56,816 --> 00:16:58,586
FINAL STRAW.

619
00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:01,915
BUT TONIGHT BEGINS THE STORM...

620
00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:03,891
OF REVENGE.

621
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:07,955
>> Jon: OH, YEAH. BACK UP, BABY.

622
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,730
>> NO. NO. NO. NO. PLEASE.

623
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:10,629
NO, THIS IS A MISTAKE!

624
00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:11,760
I'M NOT EVEN THE RIGHT GUY!

625
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:13,004
>> Jon: NO, IT'S NOT A MISTAKE.

626
00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:14,169
THIS IS WHAT I PLANNED FOR MY

627
00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:14,727
GIRLFRIEND.

628
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:15,974
REMEMBER HOW WE TALKED ABOUT IT?

629
00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:16,938
>> I D-- THAT'S NOT --

630
00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:18,066
>> Jon: AND THIS IS THE PART

631
00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:19,911
WHERE I SAY THAT I'M SORRY I GOT

632
00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:20,566
TO DO THIS!

633
00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:21,643
>> PLEASE. PLEASE, NO.

634
00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:23,011
>> Jon: I CAN DO THIS, RIGHT?

635
00:17:23,009 --> 00:17:23,909
>> BIG, HARD JON.

636
00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:25,250
>> Jon: YEAH, BIG, HARD JON.

637
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:26,105
>> BIG, HARD JON!

638
00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:27,113
>> NO, COME ON, MAN!

639
00:17:27,114 --> 00:17:28,454
>> Jon: YEAH, I CAN DO THIS.

640
00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:29,818
>> NO! NO! THIS IS A MISTAKE!

641
00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:30,776
>> Jon: AARGH!

642
00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:31,853
>> OOF!

643
00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:34,021
>> WHOO! OH, YEAH!

644
00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:36,160
WHOOOOOOO!

645
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:37,016
THAT FELT GOOD!

646
00:17:37,023 --> 00:17:38,433
YOU GOT TO GET IN ON THIS!

647
00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:39,355
>> HOLD MY PURSE.

648
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:40,829
>> NO, YOU'RE A FAN OF MINE.

649
00:17:40,827 --> 00:17:41,857
I CAN'T DO COMED--

650
00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:42,361
OH!

651
00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:43,502
>> [ LAUGHS ]

652
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:44,196
>> Jon: YEAH!

653
00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:44,697
>> WHOO!

654
00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:45,927
>> Jon: LET'S GET DINNER!

655
00:17:45,932 --> 00:17:47,002
>> YEAH!

656
00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:49,969
>> I CANNOT BELIEVE I GOT TO

657
00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:51,669
WALE ON TODD BARRY.

658
00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:52,471
>> Jon: OH, YEAH.

659
00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:53,512
I KNEW YOU'D LIKE THAT.

660
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:54,506
I KNEW YOU'D LIKE THAT.

661
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:55,637
>> THAT IS TWO FUN-AS-HELL

662
00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:56,012
DATES.

663
00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:57,278
>> Jon: NOW THE ONLY QUESTION

664
00:17:57,277 --> 00:17:59,947
IS, THINK YOU CAN TOP IT?

665
00:17:59,946 --> 00:18:01,046
>> CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

666
00:18:01,047 --> 00:18:02,317
>> Jon: WELL, ALL RIGHT.

667
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:02,875
MWAH.

668
00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:04,722
>> HAVE A GOOD NIGHT, JON.

669
00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:06,347
>> Jon: I ALREADY DID.

670
00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:08,323
NOW IT'S TIME TO FIND OUT IF

671
00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:10,961
YOU'RE A SHAB IN HABS CLOTHING.

672
00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:13,557
SHAB -- "SMART, HOT, ASIAN

673
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:14,790
BABE."

674
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:17,134
>> UGH.

675
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:18,730
>> Jon: T-MINUS FIVE DATES TILL

676
00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:21,301
JONNY GETS LAID.

677
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:23,341
>> "DRAGON HAS AWOKEN FROM

678
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:24,166
SLUMBER.

679
00:18:24,171 --> 00:18:27,371
FIRE BURNS HOT IN BELLY, SOON TO

680
00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:30,684
ROAR LIKE ANGRY SUN."

681
00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:33,347
IS THAT ALL?

682
00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:36,176
>> [ Slurred ] THEY SAID TO ALSO

683
00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:38,493
HIT MISHKA WITH THESE.

684
00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:39,915
>> THEY WANT MISHKA TO HIT YOU

685
00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:40,589
WITH THESE?

686
00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:42,047
>> NO. NO. NO. NO. HE SAID --

687
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:43,164
>> VERY WELL. MISHKA!

688
00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:44,816
>> OH, NO, NO.

689
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:45,494
>> COME.

690
00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:46,532
>> YOU HIT HIM.

691
00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:47,686
NO! YOU -- OH, NO.

692
00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:48,904
>> HIT TODD BARRY.

693
00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:49,825
>> NO. NO. NO.

694
00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:50,359
>> REALLY?!

695
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:51,563
>> YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HIT HIM.

696
00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:52,604
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HIT --

697
00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:53,199
NO, DON'T!

698
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:53,570
UGH!

699
00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:54,326
[ WHIMPERS ]

700
00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:55,774
>> I FEEL LIKE TOUGH GUY.

701
00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:59,408
>> THE TIME FOR WHINING IS OVER.

702
00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:01,706
WAR IS COMING.

703
00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:03,378
[ ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON

704
00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:05,846
HEADPHONES ]

705
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:07,175
>> DOES HE NEED TO BE HERE?

706
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:08,580
>> YOU KNOW I CAN'T LEAVE HIS

707
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:09,051
SIDE.

708
00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:10,518
BUT HE'S LISTENING TO MUSIC SO

709
00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:11,577
WE CAN HAVE A PRIVATE

710
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:13,594
CONVERSATION.

711
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:16,456
JON!

712
00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:19,286
MOM, YOU'RE MY MOTHER.

713
00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:22,562
BUT YOU'RE ALSO RENEE --

714
00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:24,632
A SEXUAL BEING WITH CARNAL URGES

715
00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:25,701
AND DESIRES.

716
00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:27,228
YOUR HAPPINESS MEANS MORE TO ME

717
00:19:27,234 --> 00:19:28,874
THAN THE FACT THAT YOU'RE DATING

718
00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:31,798
SOME DESPICABLE DOUCHEBAG.

719
00:19:31,804 --> 00:19:33,974
LOOK.

720
00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:36,313
I'M OKAY IF YOU WANT TO HAVE

721
00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:39,209
SOME POST-DIVORCE [BLEEP]FEST.

722
00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:41,312
>> Jon: [ CHUCKLES ]

723
00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:43,784
"POST-DIVORCE [BLEEP]FEST."

724
00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:49,259
* POST-DIVORCE [BLEEP]FEST

725
00:19:49,256 --> 00:19:51,416
* ROCK 'N' ROLL TONIGHT

726
00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:54,264
[ SINGING INDISTINCTLY ]

727
00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:55,861
PEARL JAM.

728
00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:58,930
>> Jon: * DATE NIGHT

729
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:02,341
* DOIN' IT RIGHT TONIGHT

730
00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:03,635
OH. UM, HI.

731
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:05,906
I'M HERE TO SEE EUN MI.

732
00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:06,935
>> [ Asian accent ] YOU MAN DATE

733
00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:08,009
DAUGHTER?

734
00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:10,577
>> Jon: OH. UH, YES, MA'AM.

735
00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:11,777
MY NAME IS JON.

736
00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:14,008
>> EUN MI NO HERE.

737
00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:17,123
>> Jon: OH. UM...OKAY.

738
00:20:17,116 --> 00:20:18,146
WE HAD A DATE TONIGHT.

739
00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:19,590
DO YOU KNOW WHERE SHE MIGHT BE?

740
00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:22,756
>> YEAH, SHE DIE.

741
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:24,155
>> Jon: EXCUSE ME?

742
00:20:24,156 --> 00:20:26,656
>> SHE DIE.

743
00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:27,659
>> Jon: ALL RIGHT, HOLD ON A

744
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:28,030
SEC.

745
00:20:28,027 --> 00:20:28,797
[ CHUCKLES ]

746
00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:30,155
AM I NOT UNDERSTANDING YOUR

747
00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:30,662
ACCENT?

748
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,303
I MEAN, ARE YOU SAYING SOMETHING

749
00:20:32,299 --> 00:20:32,699
ELSE?

750
00:20:32,699 --> 00:20:34,329
SHE -- IS SHE TIRED?

751
00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:38,644
>> NO. SHE DIE.

752
00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:40,608
>> Jon: SHE DIED?

753
00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:46,484
OH, MY --

754
00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:48,449
REALLY?

755
00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:51,946
HOLD ON A SECOND.

756
00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:54,651
HOLD ON A SECOND. I GOT IT.

757
00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:56,824
OKAY. OKAY, GOOD ONE.

758
00:20:56,823 --> 00:20:57,393
GOOD ONE.

759
00:20:57,390 --> 00:20:58,690
LIKE MOTHER, LIKE DAUGHTER,

760
00:20:58,691 --> 00:20:59,161
RIGHT?

761
00:20:59,158 --> 00:21:00,388
YOU SPEAK PERFECT ENGLISH.

762
00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:01,733
YOU'RE JUST [BLEEP] WITH ME.

763
00:21:01,728 --> 00:21:02,858
I'D GO TO THE FUNERAL.

764
00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:04,232
YOU BOTH SHOW UP, HAVE A GOOD

765
00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:04,900
LAUGH.

766
00:21:04,897 --> 00:21:06,967
VERY FUNNY. VERY GOOD ACCENT.

767
00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:08,366
EUN MI? WE SHOULD GO, PLEASE.

768
00:21:08,368 --> 00:21:11,068
>> NO! SHE NOT HERE. SHE DIE.

769
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:14,010
YOU SEE CANDLE. I'M MOURNING.

770
00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:16,476
[ Voice breaking ] VERY SAD.

771
00:21:20,212 --> 00:21:21,152
>> Jon: ALL RIGHT.

772
00:21:21,147 --> 00:21:23,847
HERE'S...FLOWERS...

773
00:21:23,850 --> 00:21:26,690
IN CASE SHE REALLY IS DEAD.

774
00:21:26,686 --> 00:21:28,556
UM, I'M VERY SKEPTICAL OF THIS.

775
00:21:28,555 --> 00:21:29,985
I REALLY THINK THIS IS

776
00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:30,819
BULL[BLEEP]

777
00:21:30,823 --> 00:21:32,593
BUT LOOK -- IF IT'S NOT, THEN

778
00:21:32,592 --> 00:21:33,562
I'M SO SORRY.

779
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,430
BUT IF IT IS, THEN IT'S [BLEEP]

780
00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:37,058
NOT COOL.

781
00:21:37,063 --> 00:21:38,673
>> HOPEFULLY, I'LL BE ABLE TO

782
00:21:38,665 --> 00:21:40,365
VISIT AGAIN SOON, AND NEXT TIME,

783
00:21:40,367 --> 00:21:42,027
MAYBE JUST ME AND YOU.

784
00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:44,004
OKAY?

785
00:21:45,772 --> 00:21:47,042
OH!

786
00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:50,609
I GOT YOU SOMETHING.

787
00:21:50,610 --> 00:21:53,710
TRY TO KEEP AN OPEN MIND.

788
00:21:53,713 --> 00:21:56,223
>> Jon: BYE, RENEE!

789
00:21:56,215 --> 00:21:57,775
>> BYE, MOM.

790
00:21:57,784 --> 00:21:59,754
>> Jon: WHAT'D YOU GET?

791
00:22:01,621 --> 00:22:04,021
OH, YEAH. [ LAUGHS ]

792
00:22:05,358 --> 00:22:07,828
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

793
00:22:11,230 --> 00:22:13,200
>> [ Slurred ] NICE TO BE HERE.

794
00:22:13,199 --> 00:22:15,669
[ TALKING INDISTINCTLY ]

795
00:22:20,807 --> 00:22:21,737
[ LAUGHTER ]

796
00:22:21,741 --> 00:22:22,611
>> [ LAUGHS ]

797
00:22:22,609 --> 00:22:24,579
[ TALKING INDISTINCTLY ]